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Kliniki
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A clinic.
It is worthy of comment that whilst in England the idea of profit making medicine is a dubious area ethically, & in America it is a rigorously governed pursuit under law with severe legal penalties, in Cyprus they have a different, more "laissez-faire" approach that approximates more closely to "let the buyer beware."
There are two types of clinics.
1. Ithiki Klinikes – Specialist Clinics.
These institutions are small & not infrequently run by a single doctor with a cooking/cleaning staff whom double as nurses.
These individuals will encourage you to address them as athelfi or sister despite both their total lack of training, hygiene or even attention to your needs.
The word "specialist" should be viewed warily also.
In Cyprus, car mechanics are Mercedes or Mitsubishi specialists, floor cleaners are specialist floor cleaners & doctors who scrape through their seven years basic training in Budapest & the subsequent three weeks in Athens are specialist cardio-thoracic surgeons if they so desire.
The law is content that they should remain so until the “specialist” realises that there is more profit in being a specialist paediatrician and changes career path.
2. Polykliniki – "Many clinics" literally, all rolled into one.
In these testimonials to medical malpractice, various numbers of doctors pass around patients in order to milk their insurance to the last penny. Their private ambulances (white vans with a stretcher in the back or else boasting a minimum of equipment the unqualified drivers and their shrilankeza "nurses" have no idea how to use) roam the streets in search of prey, snapping up accident victims before the arrival of the better equipped state ambulances that at least boast qualified nurses with additional training for pre hospital care and trauma support.
This may be due to the financial inducements offered routinely to bars & hotels for their calling them first.
Such patients are operated on without delay regardless of their diagnosis or state of health. Other patients complaining of diarrhoea are usually deprived of their appendixes & referred to the specialist plastic surgeon for the scar, & later the specialist ophthalmic surgeon if they cannot see that they are being robbed blind.
If all the stress is too much, the specialist psychologist is always on hand with a Valium 5mg under a different name that will cost you a £150 consultation.
The general rule is that when the nice man with the dirty fingernails & the vast ego complex says you need surgery for something that back home you would not have even visited your GP for, ask yourself exactly how he got his Mercedes 405 SEC at the age of thirty-five anyway, then report to the hospital or better still fly home.
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